Ok, shit's about to get real. Y'all know I don't hold back so this is going to be a long post. It's going to be uncomfortable for some of you...don't care. September is Suicide Prevention Month. I have been fairly quiet about it; posting a couple of photos but not really saying anything. I have seen the aftermath of suicide on families. It is heartbreaking. I have also suffered from major depression, PTSD and anxiety for several years (to varying degrees). I had a rough time getting through college and managing my emotional illnesses. I made it through; 3+ GPA, B.A. with a double major in Criminal Justice and Sociology (3 credits away from a minor in History). Bragging? Not really. But I am DAMN PROUD of myself for facing my demons and still coming out on top. Do I kick myself because I half-assed the last class of my last semester (got a D, hated that class) and screwed myself out of honors? Sometimes. Point is, I did make it out on top. There were days when I didn't think I would.But I had excellent friends and counselors that stood by me. I am not going to tag every one because there are too many.
The last 3 years have been extremely rough on my extended family. The majority of you know this. Everyone suffers loss and I do not discount that. But when your emotional foundation is fragile to begin with, those things are magnified. I (WE) have made it this far; day by day, some good, some not. But again, I am on top.
Now the purpose of this post; those people closest to me knew the signs of my demons putting up a fight. I've seen graphics over and over saying "know the signs". I want to add to that. Watch your friends' social media. I have "white flags" I post as much as for myself as anyone else. The shadow figures of the little girl facing a demon? If you see that as my profile picture, I am having a rough time. People aren't always straight forward with each other, we all know this. Look for pictures, songs, quotes. I have an entire album of pictures of butterflies. I unload into that album when those issues are affecting me. Really listen to the words of a song/lyrics posted. Mind you, I have been posting a lot of videos lately. I just recently went fan girl over 1D; up until about 2 weeks ago I could not have told you what they sang or who was in the group. I digress... it is obvious when a song is posted for fun v. an emotional reaction to something. Those are 2 huge flags you can find on my FB page and I doubt I am the only one who does that. Y'all probably think I post too much and share too much. When I stop posting (or slow down noticeably), another flag.
So, what do you do?
**Ok, first...what not to do. DO NOT lecture a person on how to change, improve their life, improve on their flaws, or "downgrade" their situation. This is about validation, acceptance and support. Each person has their own reality. What may seem like nothing to one person, may be the whole world to another. This is NOT about you fixing everything or about you period.
Do not lie or with hold information because you think they are weak. They fight emotional demons every day and are probably some of the strongest people you will ever meet.
DO NOT USE THE PHRASE, "Suicide is so selfish." I will tell you right now, if I ever hear someone I care about say that one of two things will happen. No. 1 (the most pleasant BTW) This applies mostly to new relationships/
Reach out if for no other reason than to say hi or send a smile to someone. Depression is extremely lonely. I know I am loved by so many people yet at times I felt like I was alone in the world. Sending a short text, pm or email, or attempting to call shows that there is someone out there that cares enough that they took time out of their day to reach out...to you. I say attempt a phone call because I am bad about not answering. But anyone of these things lets me, for example, know I crossed someone's mind that day.
You do not have to have all the answers or all the time in the world. That is what professionals are for. I love the post I've seen on FB about the young man who was bullied and his books were knocked out of his hands. Another kind young man helped him pick up his books and walked with him home. At the end of that story the young man gives a speech at graduation. The point of his speech was that he had planned on going home and attempting suicide but for the kindness of that other young boy. One reason I love it so much is because that is what we all need; one person, to show some kindness and/or that they care.
To those of you reading this that might be fighting these demons, IT DOES GET BETTER. That is not an empty platitude, I promise. You are strong! Stronger than most people know. And you are NOT alone.
Feel free to share this. If it helps one person, it is worth it. #bethe1to
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